Who among us can not relate to this?
SCARED OF SANTA GALLERY: Tis the season to be scared witless
Who among us can not relate to this?
SCARED OF SANTA GALLERY: Tis the season to be scared witless
Lititz Police Department: A Equal-Opportunity Employer?
I believe in the Americans With Disabilities Act. But isn’t it going a little too far when a police department hires the disabled?
Funny. She didn’t appear to be disabled in the past. I’ve certainly seen the individual walking about town often enough: handing out parking tickets, directing traffic. Yet there she was behind the wheel of the cruiser…in a handicapped parking space yesterday at the Lititz Post Office. Hmmm.
Now, believe me, I realize parking downtown Lititz can be a little snug at times — especially around the holidays when everyone is trying to mail all those cards and packages — but isn’t that just the point? The lot was nearly full, cars jockeying precariously for parking spaces, and here sits an able-bodied individual blithely taking up a space preserved for the physically challenged.
Perhaps I misread the sign. Perhaps it was a space reserved for the learning disabled. I mean, isn’t this the person who’s supposed to be handing out citations to people violating the law she herself was so blatently dismissing on her own behalf?
Okay, okay, I realize employees of the police department have to mail their Christmas cards, too, but perhaps they do that off duty.
I further realize this isn’t the most opportune time to “dis” the Lititz Police Department, when they’re in the national spotlight and being hailed wholesale as heroic, but — excuse me — heroes don’t park their cruisers in handicapped parking spaces. Period.
Forget the Prom; Hold a Whorefest
Today a catalog addressed to my seventeen year old son appeared in our mailbox. That he should receive a catalog of scantily clad women would probably not displease him — that is, if he were ever going to actually see it. Luckily I got to the mailbox first.
Mailing lists are annoying, especially when a decade ago someone somewhere mistyped your son’s name and an outpouring of inappropriate cataloges and ads have been arriving in his name ever since. I have a mailing list alter ego, too, but even though — judging from the intriguing name — I should get some pretty interesting junk mail, too, I don’t. Mine? Svetlana. I’ve no idea how I ever came to be Svetlana Keyman but I must admit it does have a certain mysterious behind-the-iron-curtain appeal.
Anyway, back to my son.
Since elementary school, Travis has been receiving invitations to attend Barbizon modeling school, to audition for Miss Teen America and to purchase all the cosmetics his income will allow. With any luck, however, he’ll remain too busy fighting fires with the Lititz Fire Department and battling it out on Civil War reenactment battlefields to stock up on rouge.
Of course, that was all pretty amusing. Now it’s getting edgy. Now he’s being asked to dress like a whore.
The culprit, a certain Cinderella Shoppe* of 62 West Main Street, Hershey, PA (717.838.5861) appears to believe the word prom is short for promiscuous. They are fainly sending catalogs into our community suggesting we pay them to attire our daughters (and in some cases, apparently, our sons) as high class Hollywood prostitutes. Consider page six. Here we have a gown cut so low it makes Jennifer Lopez’s choice in evening wear look virtuous. Then there’s page fourteen. This page features a little green mid-drift see-through bustier and wrap skirt combo that would not only make it appear your prom-bound daughter forgot to put on her dress, but clearly tells her date, “why waste time disrobing after post-prom when I’m already decked out in nothing more than a Hugh Hefner-approved brazier?”
Page 44 shows us a more demure gown. Unfortunately it’s sported by a model astride a golden throne — spread eagle. And if that’s not suggestive enough for you, turn to page 48. Obviously this model plans to accomodate not only her own date after post-prom, but three of his friends as well.
What I want to know is who are the mothers and fathers who will purchase these outfits for their teenage daughters? If you are out there, I want to meet you so I can see what someone who lost their moral compass actually looks like.
Let me ask you something. Are you planning to adhere a contraceptive patch to your teenage daughter’s ass as she leaves for the prom this year? If you’re dressing her like this, it might be a good idea.
Our Mission is to be a dynamic force in helping to create a community where conflicts are dealt with in a nonviolent manner.
Begun in 1981 and located in downtown Lancaster, the Lancaster Mediation Center offers Neighborhood, Landlord/Tenant, Family (including Divorce, Separation and Custody), Business, and Workplace Mediations, as well as Congregational and Organizational Facilitations.
If you live in Pennsylvania and haven’t already said “this road sucks!” here is your proof that our roads really are horrible, trust the people that drive our roads professionally every day
Pennsylvania’s bad roads are no secret – PittsburghLIVE.com
Pennsylvania’s highway system hit another pothole last week when an Overdrive Magazine poll revealed that truckers declared the commonwealth’s roads to be the nation’s worst.
And the turnpike, based on high tolls, a generally bumpy ride and constant construction delays, took most of the blame.
Ten-four, good buddies, but we didn’t need you to tell us that.
Here a link to the original article at OverDrive Magazine and an excerpt:
Comedian W.C. Fields said: “On the whole, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.” According to the latest Overdrive Worst Roads survey,most truckers would rather not. On the whole, most would rather skip all of Pennsylvania.
For the second consecutive year and the fifth time in a decade, Pennsylvania leads our worst roads list. Among the chief complaints: the conditions of the Pennsylvania Turnpike, I-78 and I-80, and poor signage. The Turnpike, also known as I-76, is further ripped for its high tolls.
Glad to hear it chief!
Second choice for police chief withdraws
EASTON | The city’s second choice for the vacant police chief’s position has withdrawn his name from consideration.
Richard Garipoli Jr., chief of the Warwick Township police department in Lancaster County, notified city officials earlier this week that he no longer wants to be considered a candidate. Garipoli said in a phone message that for several reasons he would not leave his men.
“I’ve told my men here I’m staying right where I’m at,” Garipoli said. “This is where I belong.”
If you’re a blogger, it could be very easy for you run afoul of the law, in the eyes of some anyway. Here’s a legal guide from the Electronic Frontier Foundation that gives you some common guidelines to follow and let’s you know what your rights are as well.
If you’re interested to know what some of those rights are, here is a quick synopsis:
Michael Schiavo has formed a new political action committee, TerriPAC, to stick it to all the politicians that got in his personal business. I agree that the government overplayed it’s role, in fact they never should have been inviolved in the first place… but Michael Schiavo is a still a schmuck.
Government has little or no place in the medical decisions of my family.
That said, I don’t think he really gave a rat’s ass about his wife or her extended family.
He should have allowed Terri’s relatives to be involved in her final hours.
Take a look at the the site http://www.terripac.com/ and you’ll find that the logo prominantly features his name and the site features his picture ont he front page. For a PAC named after his wife, maybe he should have something about her on the site? Nah!
Maybe a better name would be MichaelSchiavo’sEgoGotBruisedandNowI’m BitchyThat NoOneIsPayingAttentionToMe!PAC
Guess TerriPAC won’t see any money from the NewmanPAC any time soon.
MICHAEL SCHIAVO ANNOUNCES NEW POLITICAL COMMITTEE
December 7, 2005
FLORIDA – Michael Schiavo, whose 15 year struggle to grant his wife’s end-of-life wishes triggered unprecedented government intrusion and political grandstanding by political leaders from the Florida Legislature to President George W. Bush, today announced he has formed TerriPAC – a national political committee.
“The easiest thing would be to move on and let the headlines fade,” Schiavo said. “But my experience with our political leaders has opened my eyes to just how easily the private wishes of normal Americans like me and Terri can be cast aside in the destructive game of political pandering. The best way to hold them accountable is to make sure voters know where the candidates stand when they come looking for votes next November.”
In spite of overwhelming public feelings against their actions, politicians from Tallahassee and Washington, D.C., manipulated Michael and Terri Schiavo’s deeply personal family tragedy into a national media spectacle and exploited that attention for their own political gain.
Original Ontrack Press Release
The Ontrack 2005 Top Ten List of Data Disasters and Remarkable Recoveries
10. PhD Almost an F – A PhD candidate lost his entire dissertation when a bad power supply suddenly zapped his computer and damaged the USB Flash drive that stored the document. Had the data not been recovered, the student would not have graduated.
9. Suffering from Art – While rearranging her home office, a woman accidentally dropped a five pound piece of clay pottery on her laptop, directly onto the hard drive area that contained a book she’d been working on for five years and 150 year-old genealogy pictures that had not yet been printed.
8. Domestic Dilemma – A husband deleted all of his child’s baby pictures when he accidentally hit the wrong button on his computer. His wife hinted at divorce if he did not get the pictures back.
7. Bite Worse than Bark – A customer left his memory stick lying out and his dog mistook it for a chew toy. Ontrack was able to recover all of the data despite teeth marks all over the stick and a hole that went completely through.
6. Don’t Try this at Home – A man attempting to recover data from his computer on his own found the job too challenging mid-way through and ended up sending Ontrack his completely disassembled drive – with each of its parts in a separate baggie.
5. Out of Time – A clockmaker suffered a system meltdown, losing the digital designs for all of its clocks. Ontrack literally beat the clock recovering all their data just in time for an important international tradeshow.
4. Drilling for Data – During a multi-drive RAID recovery, engineers discovered one drive belonging in the set was missing. The customer found the missing drive in a dumpster, but in compliance with company policy for disposing of old drives, it had a hole drilled through it.
3. Safe at Home – After one of their executives experienced a laptop crash, the Minnesota Twins professional baseball team called on Ontrack to rescue crucial scouting information about their latest prospects. The team now relies on Ontrack for all data recoveries within its scouting and coaching ranks.
2. Hardware Problems – A frustrated writer attacked her computer with a hammer. When the engineers received the computer, the hammer imprint was clearly visible on the top cover.
And finally, the number one most bizarre data disaster of 2005…
1. La Cucaracha – In hopes of rescuing valuable company information, a customer pulled an old laptop out of a warehouse where it had been sitting unused for 10 years. When engineers opened the computer, it contained hundreds of husks of dead and decaying cockroaches.
If you’re a ‘computer guy’ you have to read this daily column. The stories are all very likely true, submitted by readers. Usually very funny. Bet you never thought of yourself as a pilot fish….
Q: What’s a pilot fish?
A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.
Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.
The IT version: A pilot fish is one of the workers. Not a honcho, not a shark.
The tricks for both kinds of pilot fish are finding a shark they can live with and staying out of range of its teeth. And to always stay alert and away from those tooth-packed jaws. A moment’s inattention could end the pilot fish’s career.
That’s life at the reef.